Fallen behind…

“These pains you feel are messengers. Listen to them.”
― Rumi, The Essential Rumi

fallen behind

Fallen behind
insecure
words won’t speak
behind closed doors…

In cloistered silence
obstacles shout
unhinged chaos
wounds leak out…

I descend again
into
gathered breath
hush my mind
my fears confessed…

disrobed
by strange
mystical states
tumbled from orbit
dreams translate…

Walking through sludge
buried by fatigue
surrendered again
to grief’s debris…

Learning
to trust
silence,
the landscape
within,
when emotions babble
affliction rescinds…

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Between the lines…

“Everything becomes enchanting once we have full sight!”
― Richard Rohr

candles

Holding the weight of my being,
I succumb to the sound of my feelings…
A seeker of light and tranquillity,
between the lines
of this imagery,
is a collection of allegories and signs,
in the latitude of movement
I am redefined…

©AllysoAlly2019

Delirious…

When the canvas frays
in the currach of thought
and a stain of ocean
blackens beneath you,
may there come across the waters
a path of yellow moonlight
to bring you safely home…
― John O’Donohue, Anam Cara: A Book of Celtic Wisdom

delirious 2

Grief ebbs and flows,
I’m engorged with despair,
caught in the headlights
of this spellbinding glare…

Welling up with sorrow
I descend to the depths,
bloated and pitiful
I gasp for breath…

Faint lamentations
of a delirious mind,
in my greatest fear
I have been enshrined…

…and I set my soul to the rhythm of song,
a deeper understanding
of heavenly throngs…

©AllysoAlly2018

The way out…

“The Way Out Is Through”
― Mark Epstein, The Trauma of Everyday Life

the way out

I’m lagging behind
dragging my feet.
I’m
breathless
gloomy
I’m incomplete.

A desolate
heart,
an empty space.
I wake in the morning to imprint your face.

When emptiness speaks,
my heartache rings,
forlorn
strumming
on own my heartstrings!

I step into shadows,
again I am dense.
Weighed down
by sorrow,
the chasm
immense.

Acquiescing to pain,
tears must flow,
absorbed
by reflections
of liquid woe…

I forage for light,
some kind of relief.
I’m hemorrhaging out
and swimming
in grief!

There’s no way around.
I must go through,
immersed in heartache,
until
I’m renewed!

©AllysoAlly2018

 

In dark Forests…

“When you are standing in that forest of sorrow, you cannot imagine that you could ever find your way to a better place. But if someone can assure you that they themselves have stood in that same place and now have moved on, sometimes this will bring hope”― Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love

undergrowth

In dark forests
of sadness,
I knelt down and prayed.
Every little disturbance
had made me feel afraid.

I’d lost my footing on pathways of despair,
the devastation,
was more than I could bear!

The mist was gathering,
I was discouraged and alone,
and in the murky twilight
I felt totally exposed.

Darkness converged,
and strange sounds could be heard,
in eerie aspects
everything grew blurred…,

Then those who’d been before me
acknowledged my fear,
and with their reassurance
the pathway
became clear…

©AllysoAlly2018

I wish it was a dream…

“Your memory feels like home to me.
So whenever my mind wanders, it always finds it’s way back to you.”
― Ranata Suzuki

it was all a dream

Our beloved cat Ziggy-stardust was killed by a speeding car…
We are in disbelief right now

Sometimes late at night
I feel the intensity of grief,
as another star falls from the skies
and I’m transfixed
by the torment of darkness.

The unbearable tragedy of being
is all around me
creeping
spreading me out
into relentless weariness
and I’m dust
scattered and lost
bereft
forlorn
suffocating
abandoned.

I can hardly hold my balance
as a lamentable ache
invades
my memories.
A Longing
for one last touch
to feel you against me
your soft fragrance of life
wrapping me
in affection.

The groundlessness of sorrow
swallows me whole
again
my burnt flesh still tender from mourning.
I no longer hold onto faith
I am belief now,
belief in the tangible presence of unceasing love.
Credence
that leaves an impression
on my heart
and mind
a knowledge
that I’m not alone
in seas of terrible uncertainty.

and as the sun rises again on this dreadful heartache
I can hear the early birds
announcing
joyfully
“love never dies”

©AllysoAlly2018

Phosphorescent streams…

“If you stumble make it part of the dance.” author unknown

dance

It’s my son’s birthday tomorrow and I have a feeling of deep sadness but I know he would want me to celebrate…

Caught in the spiral of a downward spin,
I moved into dance
with a flush on my skin!

I could hear chimes from celestial realms,
where Angels rejoice
and your loveliness dwells!

I swallowed the dew of earth’s remedies,
sipped potions of grace
and kind memories.

and from the quagmire
of fragmented dreams
I bathed in the glow of phosphorescent streams…

©AllysoAlly2018