“You have to keep breaking your heart until it opens.”― Rumi
I was forced on lands where dreams die
barren fields and desolate skies
and all I did was just survive
afraid to hope on desecrated earth
I questioned life
I questioned birth.
My life became a cautionary tale
when hazardous winds
of fate prevailed.
Closed within instinctual dread
I lived my fears
laid down my head
too afraid even to breathe
into grief I was bequeathed.
With wounds too deep to contain
I wasted away on grim terrain
and prayed for deliverance
prayed for death
could mercy renew my inner strength?
On sterile floors where captives weep,
I prayed the Lord my soul to keep
In hallowed corridors
pain is real
and little by little
I began to heal…
My sorry form had lost its spark
and all I knew
was constantly dark
I crept into quiescent state
where deathly shadows accentuate.
But in the light of diminished faith
I know that grace
the joy of divergent dreams
where hope that’s lost
will be redeemed…
“We were sent into the world alive with beauty. As soon as we choose Beauty, unseen forces conspire to guide and encourage us towards unexpected forms of compassion, healing and creativity.”
I pray each day my heart expands,
that I am able to withstand
this graveyard of broken dreams.
Where eulogies of what it means…..
to come to terms with destiny,
and all that’s been given to me….
To feel the emotion of the Earth,
be reminded of invisible mirth,
where butterflies hold memories,
Created for a sacred promise,
guiding lights will bring me solace.
…..and in the eyes of endearing birds
I’ve begun to glimpse mystical worlds….
To those who have loved and lost keep holding on……
Sometimes I underestimate love
and it’s cost..
and streams of sorrow enter me…
Have I not been faithful to love and it’s biding?
Have I not immersed myself in its flow?
When the wonders of this Earth stand still
and I’m shattered again by loss,
I will look into the dark waters of my soul,
where grief erupts and my belief falters,
I will see in the mirror that is me
the truest meaning of my existence!
That to love is to risk everything,
to throw caution to the winds.
Sometimes even to sail on seas
of unrelenting sorrow,
and yet to hold tightly to the bow of belonging.
As tempests rock me back and forth,
through the veil of my beloved
I touch transcendent beings.
They bid me travel with love as my rudder
knowing full well
that love will transfigure me
and I will be kept afloat
by forces greater than myself.
And my Lord, my light will stand on the waters of my despair,
when the storm is too cruel for me to bear.
For he fashioned my soul for longing,
He fashioned my heart to be shaped by love,
so that I cannot exist without it.
For if I guard my heart against
the slings and arrows
of outrageous fortune,
the beat of my heart will grow
weary and I will shrink and diminish
and become unrecognisable.
For to love is to let go of everything,
to be sent by gale force winds to truer places
than I’ve ever known.
To risk the brutal pain of seperation.
My fleshy heart will find a way to still beat.
For it remains formed by eternal love,
and to that place it will always return.
For love never dies….
“Knock, And He’ll open the door
Vanish, And He’ll make you shine like the sun
Fall, And He’ll raise you to the heavens
Become nothing, And He’ll turn you into everything.”
― Jalal Ad-Din Rum
I got lost in my own reflection,
and fell behind in my admiration of You.
You who endured my delirium,
read between my lines,
felt my heartache,
breathed for me when I could not,
suffered my silence,
understood my ranting,
brought calm to my chaos,
dressed my wounds,
comforted me in affliction,
sensed my introspection,
and brought me back from the brink of suffocation.
You who were an anchor when I could hold on no more,
found me when I was lost.
You considered me worthy,
clothed me with loving kindness,
illuminated my darkness,
and transformed my pain into radiance.
It is in Your light that I live and move and have my being….
“When you are standing in that forest of sorrow, you cannot imagine that you could ever find your way to a better place. But if someone can assure you that they themselves have stood in that same place, and now have moved on, sometimes this will bring hope”
― Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love
Standing alone in the bleakness
of my misery,
surrounded by tall evergreens,
guides of harmony.
I cried out in the density
of my deep despair,
“Is anybody out there, can anybody hear?”
Faint whispers from the undergrowth,
beams of light on my tears
“You’re not alone my darling…..I’m with you through the fear!”
“I’ve sent angels to comfort you,
just follow the signs,
with guardians of mourning,
your life will be redefined!”
“Come on you raver, you seer of visions,
Come on you painter, you piper, you prisoner, and shine!”
― Pink Floyd
This is a dedication to the radiant “shining light bloggers” who are suffering in some way or other. It’s your light that illuminates the World…
Love’s effect is glowing light
We shine across the great expanse
in sacred dance,
where hate destroyed,
the sanctity of mortal souls,
when greed and power
formed in the light of stars!
Let’s scatter love
and cast our fear,
with divine floodlights in the atmosphere!
“Don’t you know Yet? It is your light that lights the World.”
Color me in sunshine,
radiant and alive,
grow me into kindness,
keep my faith revived!
Let the earth’s fragrance,
swallow all my pain,
so I may thrive again!
I’ll abide in your presence,
while you live in mine.
I’ll eat at your banquet table,
with loveliness I will dine.
When darkness descends,
on my sanctuary of tears,
turn it to compassion,
so praise is what I hear!
Extravagant grace is flowing
into my form,
surrounding me in glory,
and holding back the storm!