Relapsed…

It’s the month of my son’s birthday
and I’ve been feeling the full throttle of grief,
but I know it’s just a season
and like any other, I must drench myself in its voice…

This is him on the great wall of China…

stevie 27...e

it’s the month
when my breath catches
in the wind
and only birdsong is beneficial to my recovery…

when grasses
smother the fields
with ghostly impressions
of unfulfilled dandelion wishes…
my heart lies heavy
in the mornings
and to get up
means to face
another day without your presence…

leaves crackle on the ground outside
reminding me that you
were once there
in the sunlight…

I’ve relapsed into the dark pit of despair
and I must scratch myself out…

butterflies dance across my vision
in pale yellow tones,
inviting me
to escape into the deeper
meaning of eternity…
and I go with them
just to escape the folly of overthinking…

I surrender to the overload of sadness
and let it swallow me
in this season
of remembering…

I know full well
that it will come to pass
and the tide
of unrelenting sorrow
will turn,
and your memory
will again be pasted
into the silence
of knowing…

and your whispered breath will
bring me back once again
to myself…

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Daydreaming…

“A daily dose of daydreaming heals the heart,
soothes the soul, and strengthens the imagination.”
― Richelle E. Goodrich, Smile Anyway

daydreaming

punctuation marks
across the skies,
i paused
a moment,
as they inscribed…
far-flung messages,
scrawled notes,
impartations
in bold strokes…
wordless scribbles,
and nonsensical signs… catch me daydreaming
when I’m inclined…

 

Lotus…

“Whenever you should doubt your self-worth, remember the lotus flower. Even though it plunges to life from beneath the mud, it does not allow the dirt that surrounds it to affect its growth or beauty.”
― Suzy Kassem

lotus

sometimes
words come
from pits of despair,
from stinking cesspools,
from marshy lairs…

beauty grows out
of darkened quags,
and flowers begin to bloom on lighter paths…

the lotus emerges from muddy pools,
inspiring a glow
like, recast jewels…

Art by Ally…
Sadly my Ziggy-Stardust cat changed worlds a year ago
but he continues to inspire me…

Pity me not beloved…

“To pity someone is to see the person as a victim and thus overlook the great courage demonstrated in living the planned challenge.”
― Robert Schwartz, Your Soul’s Plan

jack

the sun set on my tears
and the moon rose
in the skies,
my bed was soaked in sorrow
and the cosmos
heard my cries…

pity me not beloved
for I’m blessed
with the will to breathe,
the courage they bestowed on me
succors my belief…

and Angels touched my eyes
serenading me in sleep
collecting every tear
that no more
could I weep…

and a bright eos woke me
into a new day,
with blackbirds calling
chasing fear away…

From the wellspring…

“In your light, I learn how to love. In your beauty, how to make poems. You dance inside my chest where no-one sees you, but sometimes I do, and that sight becomes this art.”
― Rumi

the sea

from the wellspring
of a broken heart,
death’s brutality
had torn me apart…
spilling divinity
from the wound,
where grief’s sinew
had been exhumed… And words
overflow
from the source,
making prose a holy force…
not my words
alone,
just pickings
from my bones…
where light had infiltration,
grace allows
to raise
vibration…